We find ourselves always trying to find answers for it all. Whether it is about school, work, our significant other, our children or about the smaller choices we make on a daily, what we have for lunch, what route we take to work….whatever the case may be, life always somehow kicks in and adds complexity to these situations. No one will ever have the perfect balance of life. We are all working to do what is best for ourselves and our family. There will always be a fight because we all choose to never settle for less. Notwithstanding the battle, the convolution, the loss, and the suffering, we fight. However, I’ve learned that the fight also means giving up. Choose your battles. Sometimes losing is winning. Our biggest successes can be because we’ve lost and have let go. It is where you are most weak that you find your courage and your strength. Do not fear failure, fear the moment you realize what you could have done if you weren’t so afraid to fail.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Today is the DAY!
Although there were quite a few people who saw ECLIPSE already.....UGH!.....We will NOT let them steal our THUNDER because tonight is OUR night!!! Let our hearts race like Bongo drums as the lights slowly dim.....the air-conditioned breeze brushing our skin....feeling as soft and cool as a vampire's skin....Let us gasp, then smile, then cheer, then drool (in that order ONLY) as we glance our first sight on the oh so charming, the oh so tempting EDWARD....and please..PLEASE let us SQUEAL like little girls as our eyes scan down JACOB's oh so perfectly chiseled ABS (he can wash me on that washboard any DAY! lol).....and let us look deeply at the oh so lucky b*tch BELLA who gest to have them BOTH!!!!
Ladies.....TONIGHT IS OUR NIGHT! Eclipse is here!!!
YAY!!!!! hahahahhahahahaha!
Ladies.....TONIGHT IS OUR NIGHT! Eclipse is here!!!
YAY!!!!! hahahahhahahahaha!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Jordynn Ilana Gulen Ordesta
At 41 weeks on November 2, 2009, Jordynn was born. It was 7:19pm on the clock when she entered the world.
Being a week late, believe I was super anxious. All of a sudden it was extra hard to be pregnant. She was getting bigger and heavier every day and my body was definitely taking a toll. It was not the easy pregnancy that I've had all these months. There were no signs of me going into labor anytime soon so at my 40th week check-up on October 28th (I was due on October 26th),we tentatively set up November 3rd to be induced. I wasn't too happy about being induced as I knew it would lead to more drugs especially since I was already considering epidural, but I guess if it had to happen so be it.
Sunday evening, November 1st, my sister, Cue and the kids came over. It was a typical Sunday evening with Sunday Night Football, dinner being cooked with Mika assisting and Mally on youTube watching his freight trains. I went to bed around 11pm and around 3:30am the following morning, I woke up to do my routine bathroom break. Then at 3:59am I felt something different in my lower abdomen. It was a familiar feeling as I've experienced it every month since I was 11 years old, but haven't felt it since I've been pregnant. I turned on the TV and decided to keep time just in case. 4:09am hits...oooh...cramping...10 minutes since the first one. 4:19am....cramp again....hmm?? is it time?? let's see if it will hit again and then I'll wake Marvynn.....and as expected, at 4:29am my 4th contraction hits. It had to be time. I wake up Marvynn and we start getting ready to go to the hospital. My bags were pretty much packed, but considering that my cramps were only 10 minutes apart and were definitely manageable at that point, I took my time. I flat ironed my hair (haha!), picked out an extra "going home" outfit, and tidied up my room. For those who know me by now, it is a definite MUST to have the house tidied up before any type of trip so that when I come home I can relax without having to worry about anything else. At 5:35am, we're on our way to Lucille Packard Children Hospital. My contractions are at 8 minutes apart now and are a bit edgy, but still okay. After crossing the Dumbarton bridge, I reach 7 minutes and that edge is quite a bit sharper. Sharp enough where I need to tense my body to relieve it, although birth classes advise to use breathing techniques - which somewhat works. We get to the hospital, I can no longer walk on my own so I'm wheeled to labor and delivery. My nurse did the usual check ups....monitoring both my contractions and Jordynn's heart beat...I come to find that I'm 4 cm dialated and am a "keeper". I am officially admitted and expecting Jordynn's formal entrance into the world later that day. FINALLY!
The inactive part of labor was actually pretty easy. It was just a matter of time passing by. But I guess it was only easy because I had my epidural almost an hour after I was admitted. I really tried to hang on, I really did, but those contractions are just no joke. You feel this tingling in your lower abdomen and you knew a contraction was starting...you seriously feel it climb and peak and it's so sharp that you have to hold your breath. Marvynn was great by helping me remember the breathing techniques that we learned during birth classes, but the pain was just too much to bear. My OB had to break my water to speed up the labor and at about 3:30pm I was at 9 cm. Almost time to push! Jordynn would be out by 5pm for sure!! .....or so I thought.........
The active part of labor definitely wasn't the easy ride I had during the inactive labor. No matter how hard I pushed, Jordynn just didn't want to come out. I turned off my epidural for a little bit so that I could feel my contractions and even put on an oxygen mask for some burst of fresh energy, but after 2 hours, the progress was not good at all. My OB advised that we needed to look at other options....but I wasn't having that. A C-section was NOT part of my plan. I asked him for a little bit more time...I knew I could do it ....so I refocused and put all my concentration on getting her out...I took all my heart, body and mind into it and I pushed...PUSHED as hard as I could and finally progress was being made....I could see it in Marvynn's face that something was happening as I saw his facial expressions become full of eagerness and excitement...the room became filled with cheerleaders..."come on christine, you can do it!"..."you're doing a great job, christine, keep on pushing"..."she's almost here christine, push harder!!"...and then all of a sudden, a team of extra staff and nurses entered the room...hussling to prepare the room for her arrival....WOW, i thought...she's coming any minute now...and then my OB tells me "one more push christine, and she'll be here...just make sure that when I tell you to slow down, you SLOW DOWN so that I can direct Jordynn out correctly" ...........and then my last contraction hits and I push my final push with all my might and then he yells "okay, slow down!!"..............................."okay now push hard Christine, PUSH!!"....................................and at 7:19pm, she was born.
Being a week late, believe I was super anxious. All of a sudden it was extra hard to be pregnant. She was getting bigger and heavier every day and my body was definitely taking a toll. It was not the easy pregnancy that I've had all these months. There were no signs of me going into labor anytime soon so at my 40th week check-up on October 28th (I was due on October 26th),we tentatively set up November 3rd to be induced. I wasn't too happy about being induced as I knew it would lead to more drugs especially since I was already considering epidural, but I guess if it had to happen so be it.
Sunday evening, November 1st, my sister, Cue and the kids came over. It was a typical Sunday evening with Sunday Night Football, dinner being cooked with Mika assisting and Mally on youTube watching his freight trains. I went to bed around 11pm and around 3:30am the following morning, I woke up to do my routine bathroom break. Then at 3:59am I felt something different in my lower abdomen. It was a familiar feeling as I've experienced it every month since I was 11 years old, but haven't felt it since I've been pregnant. I turned on the TV and decided to keep time just in case. 4:09am hits...oooh...cramping...10 minutes since the first one. 4:19am....cramp again....hmm?? is it time?? let's see if it will hit again and then I'll wake Marvynn.....and as expected, at 4:29am my 4th contraction hits. It had to be time. I wake up Marvynn and we start getting ready to go to the hospital. My bags were pretty much packed, but considering that my cramps were only 10 minutes apart and were definitely manageable at that point, I took my time. I flat ironed my hair (haha!), picked out an extra "going home" outfit, and tidied up my room. For those who know me by now, it is a definite MUST to have the house tidied up before any type of trip so that when I come home I can relax without having to worry about anything else. At 5:35am, we're on our way to Lucille Packard Children Hospital. My contractions are at 8 minutes apart now and are a bit edgy, but still okay. After crossing the Dumbarton bridge, I reach 7 minutes and that edge is quite a bit sharper. Sharp enough where I need to tense my body to relieve it, although birth classes advise to use breathing techniques - which somewhat works. We get to the hospital, I can no longer walk on my own so I'm wheeled to labor and delivery. My nurse did the usual check ups....monitoring both my contractions and Jordynn's heart beat...I come to find that I'm 4 cm dialated and am a "keeper". I am officially admitted and expecting Jordynn's formal entrance into the world later that day. FINALLY!
The inactive part of labor was actually pretty easy. It was just a matter of time passing by. But I guess it was only easy because I had my epidural almost an hour after I was admitted. I really tried to hang on, I really did, but those contractions are just no joke. You feel this tingling in your lower abdomen and you knew a contraction was starting...you seriously feel it climb and peak and it's so sharp that you have to hold your breath. Marvynn was great by helping me remember the breathing techniques that we learned during birth classes, but the pain was just too much to bear. My OB had to break my water to speed up the labor and at about 3:30pm I was at 9 cm. Almost time to push! Jordynn would be out by 5pm for sure!! .....or so I thought.........
The active part of labor definitely wasn't the easy ride I had during the inactive labor. No matter how hard I pushed, Jordynn just didn't want to come out. I turned off my epidural for a little bit so that I could feel my contractions and even put on an oxygen mask for some burst of fresh energy, but after 2 hours, the progress was not good at all. My OB advised that we needed to look at other options....but I wasn't having that. A C-section was NOT part of my plan. I asked him for a little bit more time...I knew I could do it ....so I refocused and put all my concentration on getting her out...I took all my heart, body and mind into it and I pushed...PUSHED as hard as I could and finally progress was being made....I could see it in Marvynn's face that something was happening as I saw his facial expressions become full of eagerness and excitement...the room became filled with cheerleaders..."come on christine, you can do it!"..."you're doing a great job, christine, keep on pushing"..."she's almost here christine, push harder!!"...and then all of a sudden, a team of extra staff and nurses entered the room...hussling to prepare the room for her arrival....WOW, i thought...she's coming any minute now...and then my OB tells me "one more push christine, and she'll be here...just make sure that when I tell you to slow down, you SLOW DOWN so that I can direct Jordynn out correctly" ...........and then my last contraction hits and I push my final push with all my might and then he yells "okay, slow down!!"..............................."okay now push hard Christine, PUSH!!"....................................and at 7:19pm, she was born.
JORDYNN ILANA GULEN ORDESTA
November 2, 2009
6 lbs. 10 oz / 20 inches long
Friday, October 9, 2009
37 Weeks
Here I am!.....37 weeks! Due on October 26th! I'm considered full term now so if Jordynn decided she wanted to come out now then there's no stopping her. Looking back these past 9 months, I have to say that I have been really blessed. My pregnancy has been fairly easy with very little complications than the usual aches, pains and sores that pregnancy comes with. Oh...actually...I take that back as there is one small complication (at least Marvynn and I have learned to keep it a small complication)...is that a couple months ago, during a routine ultrasound, they did find an ovarian cyst in her....not in me...IN Jordynn...who knew unborn babies can develop cysts right? But apparently they can...NOT commonly though. It sounds really scary especially since we can't do anything about it until she's born. Worse case scenario is that if it's still there after she's born, she'll have to undergo surgery to remove it....and of course there's also that chance that this cyst may destroy the ovary that it's currently sitting on leaving her with only one ovary...but on the brighter side, you only need one ovary to have kids and after the 2nd check-up, we've come to find that it hasn't grown too much. She's been perfectly healthy other than that...happy and kicken up a storm so inspite of the cyst, Marvynn and I are still in very high spirits and really think she's going to be fine....great, actually! At this point, we're just really anxious for her arrival. My last check-up my doctor advised that Jordynn hasn't dropped and my cervix was still closed, but that it all can change in a matter of days....so seriously, she can come any... day...now.....I just hope sooner than later....not that I don't want to take advantage of my last days of "us" time...it's just that it's been that much harder to sleep and to just move!....I sleep with 6 pillows...three for my head (cuz I can only sleep upright comfortably now), one on each side of me (to wedge myself comfortably) and then one between my legs because as all pregnant women know, there's just no way to keep your legs comfortably closed anymore...not to mention I wake up every 2 hours to use the bathroom...and that's no joke either...poor marvynn has had to experience these hards nights with me...putting my pillows in place and helping me get up to use the bathroom....he's just been soo great...I know he's going to be a great father...
I've started my leave from work this week too and we've been taking walks together every day, preparing and organizing all her last minute stuff (target, walmart and babies r us must love us) haha, mentally preparing for her arrival with our looong conversations about how things will be like and how we'll need to change our schedules around to accommodate her,
preparing her nursery **here's a picture of daddy putting her dresser together... hehe....i've also been going crazy cleaning the house, and of course just anticipating every cramp I get thinking it might be "TIME"....I don't even know how to describe what I'm feeling right now...being SO close and all...There's just so many emotions running through my mind...I'm seriously excited and scared out of my mind... I'm giddy and worried. I'm ecstatic and humble. I'm confident and paranoid. In a matter of a couple of weeks or DAYS, we're going to have a baby in our lives. I'm so grateful for the advice that I've received from all my family and friends...from all the new mommies and all the old wise mommies...keeping myself apprised of every piece of knowledge that I can absorb...but I think...based on my own personal experience this far.....and I think it can be applied to just life in general.....is that all I can do is the best that I can... all I have to give is all the love I have ever known and more.....and she'll grow up to be the best that she can be....and that's all I can ever hope for.....
well the best of luck to me in the next couple of weeks OR days...to be honest, I'm more afraid of actually bringing her home for the first time than of labor...although, I'm not doubting that labor will be extremely hard...I'm going to go the longest I can without any drugs...but who knows how long that will be...haha...i'm going to probably feel my first contraction and be like, "stick it in me nowwwww!!!!"....lol.....well.............we'll just have to see...
my next update? introducing Jordynn Ilana.......
can't wait!!!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Maternity Leave
Is soo around the corner...I finally had a talk with my boss last week about the process of finding my replacement and my colleagues and I had put together a timeline and BOY, did that timeline scare me! I've been with my company for 3 years in October and they've become kinda like family ...being their support for all ..and i mean ALL that they do makes you kind of attached. Your work becomes a whole separate world and now...in October, I'm going to be leaving for 3 (or 4 months...i haven't completely decided yet) to be a mommy....and while I am SOO excited to have this time to spend and bond with Jordynn, I can't help but be scared....i just don't know what to expect and don't really know how to prepare..and when people tell me that it's going to be exhausting, i really don't know what that means.....a lot of what i've heard is to sleep as much as I can...which I already do cuz being tired is a given during pregnancy, but at the same time, it's hard to really sleep comfortably when shifting from one side to another means having to carry your belly with you...not to mention the times I have to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom....getting up out of bed or from sitting down is even hard...i sometimes feel bad when I exert that extra effort at getting up....it's like doing a sit up and your abs flex and it almost feels like your squishing your baby....haha..i know, hella OA, but it really feels that way so i find myself blowing out my stomach when I'm finally up to give Jordynn that extra space to breathe.......lol.....
but all in all, i have to say that my pregnancy has been fairly easy....the morning sickness in my first tri was minimal and my 2nd tri has just been so great and next week i hit the 3rd trimester....28 weeks.....i'm still in my regular clothes - although it's probably only possible cuz I wear dresses and leggings most of the time....but i still wear my heels at work! haha! it's definitely still doable right now, but i know I'll be doubling in size soon enough....I was lucky enough to find some flats that i really liked a month or so ago...steve madden was having this sale where you bought one pair and got the 2nd pair 90% off so I scored there! but since it is summertime, i'm totally getting away with flipflops 24/7 outside work....hahaha.....i think the only downsides is that i really miss eating sushi and i really miss having that cold beer after that long hard day at work....haha....oh yeah, and i miss breathing normally...in the morning it gets really hard for me to breathe...i find myself gasping for air sometimes...
by the way, her kicks...omigosh, her kicks have turned into full fledged waves of movements...like i can feel the entire movement of whatever it is that's moving....like a wave or something....it's crazy!! I remember having this dream a while ago where her whole freaken hand was sticking out of my side...like straight fingers sticking out and i held it...like interlocked fingers...hella carefully trying not to move so much so her hand wouldn't go away.....but now that i think about it, that is kinda freaky!!...a tiny baby hand with fingers just hella sticking out of your side...lol......
anyway, my tentative last day at work is October 9th....just a little over 2 months from now.... a lot still needs to happen between now and then...it's going to be mighty busy....but I think I'm ready for it!
but all in all, i have to say that my pregnancy has been fairly easy....the morning sickness in my first tri was minimal and my 2nd tri has just been so great and next week i hit the 3rd trimester....28 weeks.....i'm still in my regular clothes - although it's probably only possible cuz I wear dresses and leggings most of the time....but i still wear my heels at work! haha! it's definitely still doable right now, but i know I'll be doubling in size soon enough....I was lucky enough to find some flats that i really liked a month or so ago...steve madden was having this sale where you bought one pair and got the 2nd pair 90% off so I scored there! but since it is summertime, i'm totally getting away with flipflops 24/7 outside work....hahaha.....i think the only downsides is that i really miss eating sushi and i really miss having that cold beer after that long hard day at work....haha....oh yeah, and i miss breathing normally...in the morning it gets really hard for me to breathe...i find myself gasping for air sometimes...
by the way, her kicks...omigosh, her kicks have turned into full fledged waves of movements...like i can feel the entire movement of whatever it is that's moving....like a wave or something....it's crazy!! I remember having this dream a while ago where her whole freaken hand was sticking out of my side...like straight fingers sticking out and i held it...like interlocked fingers...hella carefully trying not to move so much so her hand wouldn't go away.....but now that i think about it, that is kinda freaky!!...a tiny baby hand with fingers just hella sticking out of your side...lol......
anyway, my tentative last day at work is October 9th....just a little over 2 months from now.... a lot still needs to happen between now and then...it's going to be mighty busy....but I think I'm ready for it!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Big Belly!
So i'm at 24 weeks now....6 months....6 MONTHS....SIX MONTHS!!!! here's some pictures of how my belly's been growing...my how I've grown, huh? hehe...i should start doubling in size soon enough! i'm going to have to literally hold my belly up with my hands soon enough!!
14 WEEKS
20 WEEKS
24 WEEKS (taken yesterday! woah, huh!)
14 WEEKS
17 WEEKS
20 WEEKS
24 WEEKS (taken yesterday! woah, huh!)
Friday, June 19, 2009
Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw anEnvelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition h e opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you …. call me when it's safe to come home.
LOL!
With the worst premonition h e opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you …. call me when it's safe to come home.
LOL!
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